A friend of mine -- who will remain nameless -- and I (could I start this blog out any more poorly?) were chatting today over e-mail, and our conversation led to some thoughts that sort of spilled out onto my computer screen and into her inbox. And these thoughts sort of amazingly communicated the purpose of me beginning this silly blog thing.
I'll shorten it for all you all, but it basically went like this:
"Sometimes I buy future baby clothes, is that weird?"
"Are you family planning?"
"What the hell is family planning?"
"Oh, it's when you plan out when you are having a family."
"Yeah, I am kind of doing that. Are you?"
"Yeah, I am."
"I'm afraid to path a child through my vag."
"Yeah. The only thing that scares me is my job. It's too intense to keep if I have a kid."
"You should quit your job, I did, and it's the best. Moms shouldn't have jobs if possible."
NO RESPONSE FOR HOURS.
"Wait, did I offend you? Am I a Nazi mommy?"
"No, you didn't offend me. What I really want to do is buy a home and renovate it, and maybe learn to cook."
AND HERE'S WHERE IT GETS GOOD. (copy and paste:)
"Yes, me too. I think our ovaries are seriously out of control, and it doesn't just induce the desire to have children.... it induces the desire to be homemakers and build a beautiful and comfortable environment, and get good at things that truly matter, instead of de-feminizing yourself in pursuit of making money (primarily for somebody else)."
BASICALLY, my point is, this blog is really about trying to balance the idea of all of the sudden being 28 and married, and wanting to be all wife-like...but up till this point, all I knew was the (corporate) work game. And I got pretty good at it.
Thank God, that phase is over....but now I'm kind of confused! What do I do with my day? How exactly should I structure it? What if I want to make earrings right now? Is it weird to put together a website proposal at 4:30 in the morning? If I work 20 hours per week, am I now considered lazy?
I still have quite a bit of work-like energy. And I have all these pent up entrepreneurial desires, and think up about a half a dozen business ideas every day. It can be confusing, ya'll! So this blog is (going to be) really about trying to balance these interests.
21st century craziness!
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2 comments:
So Krista, I just typed a very lengthy comment about this post only to have my firefox crash. I won't attempt to retype but basically I struggle with all things mentioned in this post, even birthing a baby through my vag (which is happening in Feb so I might as well get used to the idea). I struggle also with working "part-time" and not feeling bad but duh, that's why I quit my full time job isn't it? You are crazy talented and I say use all this time to work on your ideas. I'm sure you will find a balance and will find it quite rewarding. : )
I second Raya. The feminist movement has failed you if it says you can have/do/want/be/wear/say/etc anything EXCEPT if that anything is work part time, make earrings for fun, have babies and stay home with them, enjoy cooking, enjoy your husband, take his advice, read cookbooks, plan your house, keep it clean, ___________ fill in the blank with whatever trait is welling up inside you at this crossroad in your life. I was 28 when I got married. Always had a job before, now I don't and I have two kids. Of course, there are hellish days, but ultimately, I remind myself, this is what I want to do. And it's far from a waste of time. Now I will refer you to my blog. Smooches.
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